Support Systems

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My good friend sent me a link to this YouTube channel (also available as a podcast). It’s called the Order of Man and on Fridays, the host, Ryan Michler, just riffs on random topics. On this episode, he tells a story about running into some young boys who are dressed in fantasy warrior costumes and are pretend fighting. He finds out that it’s called LARPing, which stands for Live Action Role Playing. He goes on and says a lot of men are just role playing their way through life and not living up to who they really want to be. It’s a good discussion. He toes the line of being too masculine, but never really crosses it. I thought he had some really good points. One of them being, you need to surround yourself with other men. It sounds weird at first but it makes sense and it really hit home for me.

We are social creatures by nature and we need social interaction with other human beings. We all need a support system. We need friends. I can speak from experience that when I got married and especially after I became a father, those friendships fell to the wayside. My priorities were my wife and my family. And there is nothing wrong with that. We are husbands and fathers and we are wired to protect and provide. There is also a downside to that. We tend to forget that we also have needs and if we don’t have social interaction, bonds with other men who are just like us, we start to break down. I know it sounds dramatic but that’s what happened to me. I wasn’t myself and everything else around me suffered. I wasn’t the best husband, father, or employee that I could be.

I think a lot of us fall into this hole of doing our jobs as husbands and fathers and forgetting who we were before all of that. It’s important to remember we can’t do it all alone and we need that support system. To ground us. To motivate us. To vent to. To joke with. To drink with. To be the guy to listen to things and say “oh yeah that happens to me too” so the other person doesn’t feel like they’re in this alone. Because they’re not. We’re all just here trying to figure shit out. And it helps to know that you’re not the only one.

Before the links, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who has sent kind words and support. It’s cool that anyone reads this at all. And if it helps anyone, that’s awesome. Please share this with anyone who you might think would enjoy this.

YouTube

An Agent’s Mistake Cost an N.B.A. Player $3 Million. He Paid Him Back.

An awesome story of how someone made a mistake, owned it, and made it right.

ProRAW is Here

Austin Mann has the best iPhone camera reviews. With iOS 14.3, Apple has added ProRAW to the iPhones Pro. He dives into it.

The Vampire Test

This is the first I’d heard of this. Great test for figuring out who you choose to let into your life.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Turns 10

I don’t care for Kanye’s life outside of his music. It’s quite sad what he’s devolved to, but this album is almost perfection. Easily my favorite Kanye album and in my top 3 all time.

Tweet of the Week

What parent can’t relate hiding from your parental duties for just a few precious minutes of quiet downtime? We all do this. For me, it’s a grocery store run. I had to chuckle at this one. What’s your favorite excuse to duck away from your kids?

Thanks, Perspective, and YouTube

This post originally appeared as an issue on my newsletter. If you’d like to get early access to my posts, please consider subscribing.

Perspective

We’re into December now, can you believe that? Thanksgiving was only last week. As difficult as this year has been, my family and I have plenty to be thankful for. Having each other, our health, and moving back to southern California easily top the long list of things we are thankful for. Looking back, we definitely won’t forget this year.

I learned this year to always have a different perspective when unfortunate things happen. I’ve read and learned from other people that this is key in changing your outlook, and ultimately your attitude and quality of life. The other night, I was lamenting that our place was messy. I stopped and thought to myself, I’m so lucky to have a family, two kids, and a dog, that make this place look lived in. If not for my kids, the dining table wouldn’t have crayons and toys strewn all over it. It’s all about perspective.

YouTube

For me, YouTube is my “TV”. It’s what I like to browse on my down time, when I want to zone out. I’ve always liked vlog type channels, when they’re done well. Casey Neistat is the first that comes to my mind. I’ve always wanted to try to do something similar, but for me. I posted this a LONG time ago and I had fun making it and looking back at it (I lived a different life back then lol). I’ve started making little videos for myself and posting to YouTube. They serve two purposes: to capture moments with my family and as a creative outlet for myself. Go to my channel to see what I’ve posted and I’ll embed the latest one below.

Learn How to Appreciate What You Already Have – Another article talking about practicing gratitude but by “mental subtraction”. Basically, how much crappier would your life be if you took away something positive.

How to Be Rich, According to the Happiest Country in the World – Kind of going along with the happiness theme, what “rich” means in the happiest country in the world. tldr; “Do something active. Do something together with other people. Do something meaningful.”

An Oral History of ‘Marge vs The Monorail’ – Something that always makes me happy is when I watch this episode. Too bad Conan didn’t take part in this, but nevertheless, a great read.

Tweet of the Week

Pre-COVID Road Trip

We are, what, almost a year into this pandemic? Sometimes, I look at photos and things we did a year ago. I miss how much we were all care free back then. No worrying about rules, wearing masks, or being in close contact with other people.

We took a road trip last year to Orange County, when we were still living in Northern California. I took video, threw it together, and added music.